Papa…

Papa de joyeux anniversaire.
   Its been two years since I last celebrated your birthday with you papa. I know how much I love you, and how much I wish I could get one last chance to tell you this. I still can’t get myself to believe that I’ll never see you again papa. Perfection is an impossible quality in the human race, but you are closest I ever got to being with a perfect being. Growing up I always wondered how an extremely kind hearted clown like you fit in the army. The thought of you fighting in liberia during the war was unbelievable. I wish you where here to always listen me and support me even though it’s quit glaring that I’m at the verge of giving up. I really really miss your comforting words and most especially your contagious laugh. I lost you at the most important phase in my life, mama doesn’t talk much about you; But I know she misses you everyday, especially when i talk about you and we beging to laugh, and she strugles to fight back tears. We miss you papa, Christmas hasn’t been the same without you, only one as special as you could be honored to be born on Christmas day. I wish you stayed longer at least to see me become the lady  you always envisaged me to be. Golfing isn’t the same anymore… I still hear you laugh hysterically at me when I hit the ball like an awful armature, then you lie to me about being a potential golfer. I remember how you teased me when I was down with chicken pox and Tayo wouldn’t touch me. Even when things got rocky and we all lost hope, you acted like it was nothing, you saw us through and still didn’t believe it was reason enough to take our smile away.
      There are so many things I wish I could tell you papa, you know my pain and weakness better than I do and every time I feel like I’m sinking way down with no one to save me, I can’t help but wish you where here to lie to me about me being an incredibly kind hearted, talented young woman. I still wish that someday I would be able to perfectly emulate your approach towards life.
  Its been two years, five months and twenty three days. But it feels like yesterday, I was too busy growing up and I forgot you weren’t going to be around forever. You where supposed to live forever papa. My forever came way too soon papa, very unexpected. I believe you are doing pretty fine and making all the angels laugh just like you always made me laugh. Je vous aimerai toujours papa.

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