I’m still trying to understand why I decided to  try online dating, but truth be told viewing profiles was hilarious. I came across different things, but none of those men seemed to be my type. I was getting bored so I decided to check out one last profile and I found it rather interesting, actually “Mr 265 the columnist” was super hot. I added him and he immediately messaged me, he was fun to chat with, we got talking, exchanged  numbers and decided to hook up…

He looked better in person, It was obvious he was dedicated to working out, he spoke well and sounded very intelligent. I ordered for strawberry tart and a cup of ginger and pineapple smoothie. I was shocked when he only asked the waiter to get him an empty glass cup. Our orders came and I didn’t hesitate to devour my meal. He took the empty cup and filled it with water from the dinner sink; I couldn’t believe it, I had to ask why in the lords name he did that. He went on and on about how ridiculous it was to spend 80 naira on a bottle of water. He continued about how people dont manage money, I really wasn’t cut out for his economist theories so I focused on my meal. I noticed he kept dipping his hands in the chairs and when I asked he said he was looking for lose change. He had to be a joker, when the date was finally over we stood outside and talked for a while. He excused himself and went back into the dinner and came back with a take away pack, he noticed i kept on staring; he smiled and said he  went back inside to get the waiters to pack a costumers left over meal and also get the waiter to reduce the price of my meal by 50% but the waiter didn’t buy his bargain. He figured I wouldn’t be comfortable and that is why he went back alone. I don’t get why I should feel uncomfortable I mean people pack left overs for their dogs all the time,I’m just glad I wasn’t there when he tried to get a discount. I swear I died when he told me he didn’t have a dog; the food was his, I didn’t want to judge him yet even though I was supper creeped out so I let him go on and on about how people in our generation are so wasteful and how low cost budgeting could save the planet. He gave an example, he said he takes a shower 3 times a week and he hasn’t bought soap in ages. Apparently showering 3 times a week saves a lot of water and reduces his bills drastically.

According to Mr265 sufing through others peoples trash is fun. He also prefers to shop at thrift and vintage stores because they save more money. He didn’t forget to tell me that he eats fresh food twice a week and eats leftovers every other day. All this finally helped me understand why he gave me dead flowers and twigs earlier. He probably picked it up in a trash can. This nigga made me walk 2miles because he didn’t come with his bicycle and he wanted me to exercise my body. Really! I also found out he has never been to the gym… He got his body by taking long walks, riding his bike and splitting firewood.I just couldn’t believe it.

Mr 265 i get that you are an extreme cheapskate person and I respect that decision. You have an amazing job and I mean you can actually lead a very comfortable life and still save and give back to the society while you are it. P.S I still believe I was pranked or you really wanted to scare me off. If this is really whom you are… Then God loves and understands you my friend.

Advertisement